I know International Women’s Day has passed but I can’t help but venting some «feminine» frustration.
A while back I noticed the #IStandWithKesha tag somewhere on the Internet but I didn’t have a clue what that was about. Until today (I don’t watch TV and I’m just not up to date when in comes to modern music so it took me a while..:-p).
I googled while sitting on the bus and this article came up:
And I read about half of it before my blood was boiling. What the Hell is wrong with people? How come the victims are the ones questioned?
It doesn’t matter where a woman was, what she was wearing, if she was alone, if she clearly said no or not – THAT IS NO EXCUSE TO RAPE OR TAKE ADVANTAGE OF SOMEONE. This seems to me like something men always question – the woman’s behavior before, during and/or after the action takes place.»Why didn’t you do that?» or «Why did you do that?» People need to realize that these kind of questioning of the victim places the blame on her. Even if you ask just because you are curious. You’re telling her that she did something wrong and that is the reason this happened.
ITS NOT. It makes me sick that people would even try to angle it like that when a woman speaks up.
Gottwald’s lawyer offered this nugget of clumsy deflection the following slice of deflection: «If Kesha now regrets her career being mired in legal proceedings, it’s entirely her making.»
Sony didn’t fare much better, writing, «Sebert cannot have it both ways.» adding, «She cannot claim that Gottwald intimidated her into silence, then — as an apparent afterthought — seek to hold Sony and Kemosabe Records liable for failing to act on conduct that she did not report.»
One reason for not reporting such incidents is probably fear. Fear of how people around you will react, fear of being questioned or even blamed, fear of being met by attitudes like this.
It just makes me sick and mad that that people seem to think its alright to say that the victim has her share of the blame. That people also seem to think that men and women have the same precondition when it comes to attacks and assaults. That women can actually defend themselves at the same level as men. Usually we can’t. Men are stronger than us.
Also I want to ask men out there who likes to blame victims of rape or assault this:
- Have you ever felt unsafe while walking outside?
- When walking outside after dark, do you bring something you can use as a weapon?
- Do you ever think that you are a walking target?
- Do you think about what clothes you are wearing (things like is this jacket too easy to remove? Should I wear pants instead of shorts? Can I run in these shoes?)
- Does meeting or seeing other men on the street make you nervous when you are alone?
- When you get home and unlock your door at night, do you check your surroundings before you put your key in the lock?
- Do you answer the door when you are home alone?
These are just SOME of the things going through my mind EVERY SINGLE TIME I leave the house. And it really shouldn’t be like that. I shouldn’t worry about me wearing a skirt on Saturday night. Or every other night. I shouldn’t (well in a way I should but still…) prepare myself for the worst when I’m alone at dark. I shouldn’t have to. But I do because I am a walking target, sadly. And if something happens to me I won’t have it that someone try to question my part in it! What am I supposed to do, live in a tower?
I just wish that people, companies, authorities, well, EVERYONE could stop this nonsense of shifting the blame. Or try to make it «a little» her fault, too. Its really just making things worse for all of us.
And if you can’t understand why, you have a problem. A BIG problem. Not only do you have a problem, you’re part of the problem, too.