I hate it when women judge women.
This Friday there was burlesque on tv here in Norway. It was a part of the show Norske Talenter (Norway’s Got Talent) and it was a standard act, not too long and based on humor. This semifinal had 9 finalists, 8 of them where on before 9 pm, one finalist after 9 pm. Make a guess who was last because of the nature of her act.
Sadly, the burlesque didn’t make it to the final. But it did get a lot of negativity from women. All who had a negative reaction blames the show for airing this without any warning (even though you know from time to time who is going to be in it) and that kids saw this. And some kids (all kids mentioned in the discussion were under the age of 12, some just 2) did say bad stuff or had a negative reaction about the girl and her act. And I can’t help but think is really the burlesque and the show the problem here?
The burlesque artist in question here is fat. Yes, I said it. She is a fat girl. Which is why she is doing this. She promotes body positivity through burlesque and she has a message. To Hell with body image pressure and your beauty standards! She has a story to tell and if you stick your head out of the sand you can find her story everywhere. She has gotten a lot of attention for her message.
This obviously is not good enough for some women. They flip out because they consider burlesque to be striptease, and about sex and nudity. Burlesque is not striptease!
Arguments like «burlesque is an adult thing», «wikipedia says burlesque is very sexual» and that this is just nothing but inappropriate for a show that is a «family show». Come on, really? Your kids see quite challenging girls at the beach each summer, girls who WANTS to look sexy and show off. Not to mention regular tv, sex is everywhere. This Friday I saw a fat girl dance like nobody was watching and showing enthusiasm and joy and, yes, her body. But it was not sexual, it was not striptease, it was not for adults only.
Stop hiding behind your poor kids when its really about you and your body image pressure. If your kid say bad stuff about someone like that, you should have a real talk. First off, its NOT OK to be judgemental. Second, burlesque and feminism go hand in hand. Burlesque is like pinup – it has a message. Try to get it before you frown your brows because of your narrow-minded view. And third, its nothing but your own fault if you let your kids stay up late to watch tv. Easy as that. The tv-channel did everything right, so don’t attack them. This is NOT about that. Its about YOU and your lack of support of other women.
To show some skin is not the same as nudity. Its not about sex. If that is how you react to it, then you are the problem. Then you are teaching your kids that its bad to love the skin you’re in, that you should always cover up. That it is a shame to have a body, and to show it. Slim girls don’t get attacked for wearing bikinis in the summer, why should Fifi von Tassel get yelled at for showing her body? Kids can handle more than you give credit for. If you have a talk with kids and explain why she is doing this, they might come to grown up conclusions all by themselves. Kids do have the ability to reflect and see things from more than one side, if you let them. If you treat them like fragile, tender persons – then yes, they will be exactly that. If you have a shower with your 4 year old you are showing more than Fifi did and do kids get damaged by that? No. Because its just a body to them, we all have one. The moment you start reacting like its something its not, it starts getting awkward for your kids too.
So please, don’t make this about moral and make a bad thing out if it because that is not the issue here. Don’t say you support what Fifi von Tassel stands for, or even call her brave when you do things like this. Say what she does is inappropriate and that kids shouldn’t see her. Its too thin, I can see straight through it. This is about your attitude towards other women and women bodies. You don’t have to like burlesque, but you can still show support. You can still keep your mouth shut if you don’t have anything nice to say. You can still teach your kids about women and their bodies, and how society pressure us in every way possible. You can teach your kids to be accepting, supportive and open-minded.
Please don’t be one of those women who talks behind other women’s back and bashes everything that is different and brave. We already have too much of those around us, we don’t need another one to make us feel bad about ourselves.
Also, one of the judges (a male) had a very immature reaction to Fifi’s act and he clearly couldn’t hide that he did not approve of this at all. And let me guess, her weight has something to do with it. Thank you for being a part of the problem!